As thrilling as it is, love can't always be desperately intense and all-consuming. I think there's another kind of love that is possible, one that doesn't kill us. Maybe instead of wanting to disappear into love, we might decide to emerge more fully because of it. Maybe true love encourages us to embrace the ugly, boring parts of each other with as much tenderness as we would the plainly beautiful parts. For years, I was dying for love, but now, finally, I think I'd prefer to love someone so much that it doesn't hurt at all.