"I wasn’t shocked at the reaction I received
from my t-shirt. I’m used to being told by society that I must regulate
my body to fit the norm. I’m used to the fact that images of unaltered
women are seen as unacceptable. I’ve
taught myself to ignore it (as much as I can) and through the Internet
(via sites like ROOKIE Mag) and social media platforms (like Instagram
and Facebook) I’ve been able to freely share images and start
discussions about these issues. Recently I had my Instagram account
deleted. I did nothing that violated the terms of use. No nudity,
violence, pornography, unlawful, hateful, or infringing imagery. What I
did have was an image of MY body that didn’t meet society’s standard of
“femininity”. The image I posted was from the waist down wearing a
bathing suit bottom in front of a sparkly backdrop. Unlike the 5,883,628
(this is how many images are tagged #bikini)
bathing suit images on Instagram (see here and here) mine depicted my
own unaltered state - an unshaven bikini line. Up until this moment I
had obviously seen and felt the pressure to regulate my body but never
thought I would literally experience it.
I’m used to seeing female
bodies perfected and aspects concealed in the media (i.e. in hair
removal ads for women hair is NEVER shown). I wasn’t surprised when TMZ
requested to interview me about my t-shirt but then cancelled because
the image was” too explicit for television” - whereas during Rihanna’s
abuse scandal her beaten up face was broadcasted hundreds of times. I’m
used to seeing women being degraded, slut shamed, harassed for what they
look like. Even the most powerful women in the world are measured by
their appearance and constantly ridiculed for it. I’m used to one of the
biggest media outlets calling a 9-year old girl a “cunt” (with the
intention of being “satirical”). I’m used to hearing the top played
songs on the radio tell me “I know you want it - just let me liberate
you”, “You don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you
beautiful”, “Put molly all in her champagne/ She ain’t even know it / I
took her home and I enjoyed that/ She ain’t even know it”. I’m used to
seeing blockbuster movies get a rating of NC-17 because a woman is shown
receiving pleasure -while movies that feature men receiving pleasure
get ratings as low as PG.
I’m used to seeing cover after cover featuring
stories about a popular celebrity being fat-shamed during pregnancy.
I’m used to seeing reviews of an award show performance that critiques a
female singer for being “slutty” but then fails to even mention the
older male behind her. I’m used to reading articles about whole towns
harassing a rape victim until she’s forced to leave. I don’t want to be
used to this. I don’t want to have to see the same thing constantly. I
don’t want to be desensitized to what’s happening around me
all.the.time. I consider myself endlessly lucky to have access to the
Internet and technology. Through it I’ve found myself and have been able
to join a new discourse of females young and old who strive to change
the way we look and treat ourselves. I know having a social media
profile removed is a 21st century privileged problem - but it is the way
a lot of us live. These profiles mimic our physical selves and a lot of
the time are even more important. They are ways to connect with an
audience, to start discussion, and to create change. Through this
removal I really felt how strong of a distrust and hate we have towards
female bodies. The deletion of my account felt like a physical act, like
the public coming at me with a razor, sticking their finger down my
throat, forcing me to cover up, forcing me to succumb to societies image
of beauty. That these very real pressures we face everyday can turn
into literal censorship.
If the Internet mimics real life then there is
no doubt that real life can mimic it. That if we allow ourselves to be
silenced or censored it can happen in real life too. That if an online
society of people can censor your body what stops them from doing so in
real life. This is already happening, you experience this everyday. When
someone catcalls at you, yells “SLUT”, comments on all your Facebook
photos calling you “disgusting”, tries to physically violate you,
spreads private nude images of you to a mass amount of people via text,
calls you ugly, tells you to change your body, tells you are not
perfect, this cannot continue to be our reality. To all the young girls
and women, do not let this discourage you, do not let anyone tell you
what you should look like, tell you how to be, tell you that you do not
own your body. Even if society tries to silence you keep on going, keep
moving forward, keep creating revolutionary work, and keep this
discourse alive. To those who reported me, to those who are disgusted by
my body, to those who commented “horrible” or “disgusting” on an image
of ME, I want you to thoughtfully dissect your own reaction to these
things, please think about WHY you felt this way, WHY this image was so
shocking, WHY you have no tolerance for it. Hopefully you will come to
understand that it might not be you thinking these things but society
telling you how to think."
Petra Collins for Oyster
